Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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