Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
soo... how was my night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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