Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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