office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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