its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
