Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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