i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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