It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
