Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
