My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
