STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
