And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
