There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
