Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
