did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize