dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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