the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize