Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
