The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
