I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
