i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize