I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
