I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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