You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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