I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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