I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize