Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
