Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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