We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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