Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
