His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
