Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
