is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
