it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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