dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
