Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
kristin has been a bad kristin
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
