I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize