Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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