def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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