"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
