I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
MIDGETS
????
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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