...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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