Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
