Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I cannot find my penis.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
