I want to walk on stilts...naked
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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