i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize