I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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