I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
