wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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