Screwed.edu
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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