She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
