I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
