Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
