I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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