At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
