It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize