You're my little dorito
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
