I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
