wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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