dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
