wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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