Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
