have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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