My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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