she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
