Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
