What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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