Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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