i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
