i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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