Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize