the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
