We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
