dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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