he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
