you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
