i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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