I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize